Friendship in the face of Dementia

Title: Memorable Loss

Author: Karen Martin

Published by – Christian Focus Publications 2023

ISBN – 9781527110021

Price: £11.99

Dementia can be a very long, painful and confusing journey but it is made bearable with patient, lovely friends and family. This is the beautiful story of Karen’s 20-year friendship with Kathleen, an elderly woman in her church and how she cared for Kathleen until her last day. The book tells the story from pre–diagnosis to Kathleen’s eventual passing, and highlights the difficulties and joys of facing dementia, through the lens of friendship.

This is a remarkable book. It gives a great insight into dementia through the author's changing friendship with Kathleen. It's thoroughly researched and tender-hearted. A cliché but I both laughed and cried.

I read this book because my own father suffers from Parkinson’s Dementia and during the last couple of months he has become worse so I wanted to understand better the effects of Dementia. I could relate somewhat to the author’s experience. She makes a wonderful case for seeing beyond the label of “Alzheimer” and seeing the person. It is beautifully written and extremely informative.

I absolutely loved reading this book. I felt like I learned something with every page. Poignant and heartbreaking in places, it's also packed full of joy and hope. I was fascinated by the discussions around the relationship between Alzheimer's and our sense of self (which I had never really considered before), and the author's argument for society to change the way we view people with Alzheimer's - still very much themselves and an individual - and not just a patient or sufferer. The book beautifully outlines how sometimes the disease can have positives and be a blessing, again not something I had come across before.

This was a strong contender for being my book of the year in 2023. I heartily recommend this book to everyone, regardless of if you have had a personal experience with Alzheimer's or not.

Shirley Murphy