Diary of a Parson's Wife

Growing old Together

Having now been together longer than we were alive before we met, Marcus and I are definitely converging in more ways than one and with varying degrees of comfort!

There was a social media post recently suggesting that we should all have friends who are kinder, more generous and more gracious than ourselves – and Marcus is in this way, definitely my better half. Infinitely more patient than me, I know that if he is annoyed, the situation must be really bad.

However, I have noticed of late that we are definitely at risk of metaphorical fusion. We would easily be espied as a couple amongst a crowd, as in appearance we are becoming more and more similar.

This photo was taken en route to Germany in the summer.

Although we are somehow managing to send each other subliminal dress-codes, the Zipperlen fusion seems not to have spread to more profound areas of our lives. I am probably becoming less patient than more so, and I am certainly more obstinate. Recently, when one of my rowing crew mates was keen to spend the day in my house sorting out the boat kit that is being temporarily stored in our garage – I took it upon myself to invent numerous reasons why she shouldn’t; simply because she had initiated proceedings without asking permission to ransack the garage. Ransack is a slight exaggeration, or even misnomer, as the garage was infinitely tidier on her departure.

The rowing team and I are soon to embark on a voyage from Lanzarote to Antigua and have been spending time with an endurance sport coach to make sure our mental resilience is up to the challenge. This has partly involved psychometric techniques to better understand ourselves and each other and to develop sensitive communication practices among us. It has been an interesting and valuable exercise and I tried to engage some of the ideas we have been learning in ‘Garage-Gate’. Although pleased that she feels so comfortable in my house, I have discovered I have rigid but invisible physical home-boundaries. There are some out of bound areas of my home, the garage (who knew?) and the kitchen being in the Top-10.

I will have to work harder on being as patient as Marcus before Christmas, when his parents will come to stay and I might need to negotiate some kitchen-dynamics!

Polly Zipperlen